The Greatest Mysteries of All
I’ve never understood why people eat
(Taste, chew, and swallow) Oreos. They’re vile.
And here are other mysteries, complete
Ones. Why do men drink beer? What can beguile
A person to submit to drinking stuff
As foul as that? It smells bad . . . and its taste
Is worse. The stench alone should be enough
To tell them, “Drinking this is worse than waste.
It’s downright stupid and revolting.” It
Makes their bellies smile like painted lips
On clowns. The worst is: humans with a Slit
Instead of Thing, the ones with swollen hips,
May dress in sweetest hues, . . . but some wear BROWN (!),
BROWN, gray, and beige, and greige. It makes me FROWN.