What Religion Does

“When Teng Yin-feng was about to die at Wutai, he said to the would-be mourners, ‘I have seen monks die sitting, and lying, but have any died standing?’  ‘Yes, some,’ they replied. ‘How about upside down?’  ‘Never heard of such a thing!’  Teng stood on his head and died.” ~ R. H. Blyth

Contortions are the point for most sly gods.

Extreme some yoga postures make us cringe.

Divinities demand we practice frauds

Upon the soul.  Gods want our cores to twinge

At their command, with guilt their godless tool.

Some anesthetics are applied like wine

In altar cup, but cures?  Gods try to fool

Us with a house in heaven.  Assholes shine

Forth inspiration if these Beings spread

Their hips.  The priest-like leaders nipple twist

The mind.  They make the younger ones give head.

A blastula occurs when dicks are kissed.

  The Mormons teach that their most holy God

    Can warp us into gods — God tries to cod.

~ Phillip Whidden